Stay in Your Science Fiction Lane

At Last, a Generic Warning Easily Inserted After Any SF Title Page

Author’s Note

I am so terribly, shamefacedly sorry for having written this book from the vantage point of future space pilots, and for describing their reactions to aliens, space wars, and intergalactic intrigue, when of course I’ve never experienced any of these things and know nothing about them. For this I am truly, truly sorry.

I know real space pilots everywhere are not only offended but also deeply mortified by my presumption, and I apologize for the searing emotional damage I’ve so thoughtlessly brought into their lives.

Furthermore, if the above injuries aren’t horrific enough, there’s also the harm done to all characters I’ve recklessly libeled as “evildoers” or “villains.” Who am I to judge whether an interplanetary terrorist dictator is “evil”? Who am I to highlight the end of my novel with an insensitive depiction of his sordid death at the hands of a “hero” space pilot whom I likewise have no right to maneuver into such a tawdry, unknowable situation? How can I describe a character’s cruel psychopathic glee at the destruction of a planet when I’ve never blown up a planet myself? So I apologize to all evildoers, to all villains, to all antiheroes everywhere for having failed to truly understand and emphasize with them. Again, so dreadfully sorry.

Worst of all, I write about a future which I’ve never personally experienced. If that doesn’t disqualify me as an author, I don’t know what does.

I now fully, honestly, openly admit that I’ve never had the courage to become a space pilot, to blow up planets, or live several decades in the future. Readers, pilots, and villains, I am so wretchedly remorseful!